


Some things will not be denied.

by slowroad



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Era, Fluff, Good Morgana (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25386745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowroad/pseuds/slowroad
Summary: Arthur has been trying his best to ignore his feelings for Merlin. But denial only works for so long, as he realises when Merlin gets seriously injured, trying to save Arthur's life yet again.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 414





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I have simply borrowed them for a while. 

"Morning Arthur. It's time to get up!" Merlin said a bit too cheerfully for Arthur's taste, as he pushed open the door to his bedroom and entered with a clatter.

"Stop making that infernal racket!" Arthur grumbled as Merlin carried the breakfast dishes to the table and set them down. 

"Sorry," Merlin said just as cheerfully. "But you do have to get up. We have patrol today."

"You mean I have patrol today."

"And since when do you go anywhere without me?"

Arthur rolled his eyes. 

"I saw that. Now stop being grumpy and get up. Your breakfast is getting cold."

"What else is new?"

"Don't be like that. I actually got you a hot breakfast today. With bacon and everything."

"Is any of it left or did you eat most of it on the way here?"

"I exercised a lot of restraint this morning. But I'm afraid it won't last. If you don't get up soon, the bacon will be gone."

"Ugh!" Arthur dragged himself out of bed. He kicked off the covers and stood up. Then he stretched.

Merlin made an odd sort of gulping noise and quickly shut his mouth. 

Arthur smirked. He knew full well the effect he had on Merlin every morning, when he got out of bed all sleep mussed and shirtless. Merlin tried so hard every day, not to run his eyes all over Arthur's body as he got out of bed and walked around bare-chested. He failed every day. Arthur loved the attention and as far as he was concerned, it was payback for the noisy morning wake up. 

Arthur got washed and dressed with Merlin's help. Merlin was a little too helpful that morning. He brushed his fingers lightly along Arthur's skin as he put his tunic over his head and pulled it down. He smoothed the tunic down by running his hands over Arthur's chest and down to his stomach. Then he laced the ties at the top of the tunic, brushing his fingers repeatedly over Arthur's chest as he did so. Arthur stood there with gritted teeth as his skin broke out in goosebumps.

It was torture of the sweetest kind. It was so, so hard for Arthur not to grab Merlin, push him against the nearest hard surface and kiss him until neither of them could see or think straight. Merlin knew exactly what he was doing. This had become a daily ritual for them with Merlin pushing to see how far he could go before Arthur cracked. 

And Arthur wanted to crack. Oh God! How badly he wanted to crack. But he couldn't let himself. Starting anything with Merlin was a terrible idea because there was no way that anything between them could be casual. And Arthur would never be able to commit to anything serious with Merlin, no matter how badly he wanted to, because he was the crown prince and that meant that he had to marry a princess and produce an heir. That didn't keep him from wanting though. 

And Merlin made no secret of the fact that he wanted Arthur too. So they danced around each other. Wanting, but never quite giving in.

Merlin flopped into the chair next to Arthur as he sat down to breakfast and he casually picked food off Arthur's plate. Arthur didn't mind, so they ended up sharing breakfast, well, every meal, really. Though Arthur tended to insist that Merlin get himself a plate for dinner and eat properly. He knew how blatantly couple-like this behaviour was and he was aware that he should put a stop to it, but he couldn't. So he pretended that it was not that inappropriate. Merlin was his friend after all...

They set off after breakfast with about a dozen knights. The patrol took them to one of the outlying villages. There had been several reports of bandits in the area and Uther had sent them to gather information. It was well past midday by the time they got all the information there was to be had. So they gathered in a noisy group in the only inn the village boasted of and they had a big, hearty lunch, talking and laughing the entire time.

When they walked out of the inn an hour later, Gwaine fell in beside Merlin. He put his arm around him and started chatting. Arthur was at the head of the group and he, naturally, expected Merlin to join him. He looked behind him curiously when Merlin didn't show and he saw him laughing as Gwaine cracked a joke. Gwaine was still holding Merlin close to him and the two of them looked rather cosy.

Arthur didn't much like the sight of that. He hated that Gwaine could be so easy and affectionate with Merlin in public while Arthur hesitated to touch him even when they were in the privacy of his chambers. He could feel the jealousy building inside him as he watched Gwaine tuck Merlin into his side as though Merlin belonged to him.

But Merlin knew his prince well enough to know that he would be jealous. So he shot Arthur a look that was so full of adoration that Arthur thought his knees would buckle under him. Why was he resisting Merlin's affections again?

They got to the outskirts of the village where they'd tied up their horses and Merlin made his way back to Arthur. He put his arm on Arthur's shoulder and squeezed lightly. It was no more than a friendly gesture, but he coupled it with a look so full of love and want and desire that Arthur didn't know what to do with himself.

He had no idea how he managed not to grab Merlin, drag him into the surrounding forest and ravish him...repeatedly. Arthur sighed and looked away, hating himself, hating that he was the crown prince and hating all the duty and responsibility that came with that. Merlin squeezed his shoulder once more and turned away as well. 


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur mounted his horse and Merlin did the same. They set off and soon enough Merlin was chattering comfortingly beside him. They rode peacefully for over an hour. They were riding through a thick grove of trees, within sight of Camelot, when they were attacked by a group of assassins. Arthur and his knights jumped off their horses and faced off against the men who'd surrounded them.

Merlin drew his sword as well and did what he could with it. But mostly, he kept his eye on Arthur. He wanted to avoid using magic if he could, but if Arthur was in any kind of danger, he wouldn't hesitate. So he watched him and he got as close to Arthur as he could.

Things seemed to be going well for them until Merlin noticed an archer hidden in one of the trees. He'd barely registered his presence when the archer took aim at the prince and shot. Merlin acted on instinct and jumped in front of the arrow which got him square in the chest. He collapsed. The last thing he heard was Arthur's anguished voice calling out his name.

Arthur stared in horror at the arrow sticking out of Merlin's chest. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose Merlin. He couldn't! His knights surrounded him and Merlin and kept fighting. Gwaine threw a dagger at the archer and brought him down.

Arthur quickly sheathed his sword and went down on his knees. He cradled Merlin in his arms and used his cloak to staunch the flow of blood. He tore it up and made a thick makeshift bandage, but he didn't dare pull out the arrow because it had struck deep. He stayed there, holding Merlin close to him, as his knights carried on fighting. A few minutes later, the assassins were all on the ground, some dead and some too seriously injured to move. 

Arthur got on his horse. Gwaine and Lancelot picked Merlin up and sat him on Arthur's horse so Arthur could support him against his chest. They rode for Camelot as swiftly as they could. Arthur was terrified. Merlin was still breathing, as far as he could make out and he hoped that he would get him to Gaius in time to save him. 

They rushed through the streets of Camelot and got to the palace. Arthur got off his horse, took Merlin up in his arms and ran up the stairs as quickly as he could. Gwaine and Lancelot followed him. A couple of the other knights went to make a report to the king and to Sir Leon who dispatched a few of the guard to round up the assassins. 

"Gaius! Gaius!" Arthur called as he kicked open the door to the infirmary and took Merlin inside. 

Gauis came out of one of the far corners of the room, carrying a book. 

He took one look at Merlin and he paled. "What happened?" He said as he indicated that Arthur should put Merlin down on the bed in the middle of the room. 

"We were set upon by assassins in the forest and Merlin saved my life...again."

"The arrow has struck deep, Sire," Gaius said as he examined Merlin. He looked really worried. 

"I know."

"I have to get it out and stem the flow of blood. There are a couple of potions I can give him and salve for his wound but...I'm afraid it does not look very good."

Arthur clenched his fists and tried not to scream. Why did Merlin keep doing this? He'd jumped in front of Arthur without a thought, like his own life meant nothing. 

Gaius was gathering everything he needed.

"I shall need assistance, Sire. Could you please send for Gwen?"

Lancelot made as if to go, when Arthur stopped him with a gesture. 

"There's no need for that. I can help. Tell me what to do."

"Are you sure, Sire?"

"Yes! Now please, let's get on with it."

Gaius indicated that the other two knights should wait outside. Lancelot and Gwaine took their leave. Arthur took off his gloves and prepared to follow the physician's instructions. It was a bit ironic that this was the role Merin usually played when Arthur was the one who was injured. 

It took a while to do everything that needed doing. Arthur stood by the bed, looking at Merlin as he lay there, unconscious, a bandage running across his chest, looking so small and frail that it broke Arthur's heart. It hurt so much to see him like that and wonder if he would ever open his eyes again. 

"There's nothing more to be done for him now. He needs to rest and his body will, hopefully, do everything it can, to heal," Gaius said. "You should go and get some rest as well."

Arthur nodded. Now that there was nothing left to do but hope and wait, the full import of the situation hit him. What if Merlin didn't survive? What if he died? He couldn't bear the thought. He felt as if the ground was crumbling under his feet. 

"I understand, Gaius. But if I could please have a few minutes..." Arthur said, his gaze lingering on Merlin. 

Gaius looked curiously at him. Then he nodded and left the room. 

Arthur continued to gaze at Merlin, his heart somehow sick with dread and overflowing with affection at the same time. He reached out to touch him. He ran his fingers through Merlin's hair. Then he caressed his cheek and looked at that beloved face and he teared up. He stood there, feeling utterly helpless as the tears ran silently down his cheeks. 

Now, Arthur found himself acknowledging all the feelings that he'd been trying to ignore for months. And it hurt. It hurt so much. Merlin was...well he was everything to him and he hadn't allowed himself to admit it. In fact he'd been hoping that if he ignored them, his feelings would go away and that he'd stop caring for and wanting Merlin so much.

And now he might never get to be with Merlin at all. Why had he been so determined to keep him at an arms length? Because he was a prince and Merlin was a servant and a man...good reasons, but inadequate when he considered the lengths to which he and Merlin went to protect each other, how embedded in each other's lives they'd become, how necessary they were to each other's happiness.

There was something between them, a bond, a connection that was unique and extraordinary. He'd sensed it from the beginning and he'd chosen to ignore it. Now, it might be too late for any of that to matter. Arthur couldn't fathom the pain he felt at that thought. Merlin was too precious to die. The fates wouldn't be that cruel, surely. 


	3. Chapter 3

It was a few hours later. Arthur was alone in his room. He'd washed and changed. He'd picked at his dinner for a while before giving up on it entirely. And now he had nothing to do but wait and think and try not to think horrible thoughts.

He'd had a steady stream of visitors, all of them worried about him because it was apparently obvious to everyone, including his father that if anything happened to Merlin, Arthur would most definitely not be okay. And he wasn't. He was heart sick and miserable.

He kept going back to that moment, in the middle of the skirmish, when he'd turned around and seen Merlin collapsing to the ground with an arrow sticking out of his chest. That memory was going to haunt him for a very long time. 

He couldn't believe that Merlin had jumped in front of an arrow like that. How much courage must it take to do that? And to do it just so Arthur wouldn't get hurt...Why did Merlin keep doing this time and again? Why was he prepared to risk everything to save Arthur?

Arthur knew why, of course. It was the same reason he had risked his life on more than one occasion to save Merlin. Arthur sighed and rubbed his eyes. He felt guilty. The only reason Merlin was ever in danger was because someone was attacking Arthur. Merlin tended to get hurt because he was with Arthur. If he only stayed home like any other manservant would, he would never get hurt. But Arthur knew how well that argument would go down with Merlin if he ever tried it. 

He sighed. He couldn't sit still any more, so he got up and started pacing around his room as his mind confronted him with one memory of Merlin after another. He remembered the first time that they'd met. Arthur had been such a spoilt brat and Merlin had called him out. That had been a strange and novel experience. No one had ever spoken to him that way before.

It had thrown him off balance and it had confused him, because right alongside his indignation had been attraction. He'd been attracted to Merlin the very first time he saw him. That was the only time he'd ever been attracted to a man. Though truth be told, ever since he'd met Merlin he hadn't had eyes for anyone else, man or woman. He'd known straightaway that there was something special about Merlin. 

And it wasn't just his looks or his irreverence. Merlin was a genuinely good person. He was kind and generous and he tried to help everyone he could. Being around him had changed Arthur's attitude to a great many things. He made Arthur want to be a better man than he was. 

Arthur found that he couldn't stay in his room anymore. He needed to see Merlin. He had about a thousand things to say to him that he should've said months ago. Merlin wouldn't hear any of it, but Arthur needed to say them anyway. 

He left his room and walked through the deserted corridors. He pushed open the door to the infirmary and found that there were a few candles burning. Gaius was sitting by the bed where Merlin lay, still unconscious. Gaius was obviously surprised to see him.

"Couldn't sleep?" He said.

"I didn't try. How is he?"

"Much the same."

"I'll stay with him, Gaius. You should get some rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I need to sit with Merlin for a while."

Gaius stared at Arthur for a moment and then he got up and went to bed, leaving Arthur alone with Merlin.

Arthur sat by the bed and took Merlin's hand in his. He kissed it softly, wishing he could see Merlin's eyes light up with pleasure, the way they undoubtedly would, had he been awake. Arthur knew that Merlin loved him. He'd known it for a while. Merlin wasn't any good at hiding his feelings and mostly, he didn't try.

He was open and trusting and there was a feeling of wide-eyed wonder about him that Arthur found utterly charming. He was like a ray of sunshine in the midst of the stultifying formality of Arthur's life. A bit of lightness, a burst of laughter. 

He loved Merlin too, but he hadn't admitted it, even to himself, until today. He reached out with his other hand and touched Merlin's face. He looked so young and so delicate as he lay there. And so very beautiful. 

"Merlin," Arthur said softly. "I know you can't hear me, but I'm going to talk to you anyway. I want to yell at you for doing what you did. But I know it won't make one bit of difference, not even if you could hear me."

"Because no matter what I say, you will not stop trying to protect me. I won't ask why because I know why. I love you too, you know."

"The idea of living without you is too horrible to contemplate. So please, if you can hear me at all, fight, fight with all your determination and come back to me."

"I miss your chatter. I complain about it, but I like it, really. Just your presence is enough to soothe my nerves. They're pretty frayed right now, as I'm sure you can imagine."

Arthur sighed. "Just...don't die. Please."

The night passed in this way. Merlin slept. Arthur held his hand and talked. The sun rose over Camelot and Merlin was still breathing, still alive. Something had shifted in the night. Arthur couldn't tell what it was exactly, but it felt as if Merlin was breathing deeper and easier and his face was more relaxed.

Gaius woke up and looked Merlin over. He agreed with Arthur that Merlin seemed to be doing better. 

"And now I must insist that you go to sleep for a few hours, Sire. You won't help Merlin any by making yourself ill."

Arthur nodded. "Okay. But you will..."

"Yes. If there's any change at all."

"Thank you."

Arthur finally got up from Merlin's bedside. Then he leaned down and kissed Merlin on his forehead, not caring one bit that Gaius was standing right there. If the physician was surprised, he didn't show it. 


	4. Chapter 4

The next three days passed in much the same fashion. Arthur slept fitfully through the morning, trained with his knights all afternoon and spent the nights sitting at Merlin's bedside, holding his hand, thinking and talking. By now, he'd said a lot of things that he wanted to say. Of course, Merlin didn't hear any of that, but it was good practice for someone who almost never spoke of his feelings. 

On the afternoon of the fourth day, Morgana came into his chambers. Her face was flushed and she was breathless. 

"Did you run all the way here?" Arthur asked, trying very hard to keep a lid on the hope blooming in his chest. 

"Yes! I had to get here as fast as I could. It's Merlin. He's awake. The first thing he said when he opened his eyes was, "Where's Arthur?"

"Of course he did."

Arthur rushed to the infirmary. He pushed open the door and he couldn't quite see Merlin because Gaius, Lancelot and Gwaine were standing around his bed. Arthur's heart was pounding as he walked slowly into the room. He didn't look at anyone and he didn't say anything, but they understood what he wanted and all of them left the room. 

Arthur walked over to Merlin's bed and it was such a relief to see him. Merlin looked utterly worn out and it was obvious that he was struggling to keep his eyes open, but he was awake. Merlin looked up at him with such a fond smile on his face that Arthur nearly melted into a puddle right there.

He took Merlin's hand in his and he kissed it softly. Merlin's eyes lit up the way he'd known they would. Arthur cupped Merlin's cheek and then he leaned down and kissed him softly on his lips. It was a chaste kiss, but it was full of intent. Arthur did not want to leave any room for ambiguity given how long they'd spent dancing around each other. 

"Oh it's like that, is it?" Merlin teased.

"Yes it is."

"Took you long enough."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. I heard you. When...I was unconscious."

"Everything? "

"Almost."

"Then you know."

'I do."

They looked at each other in silence. There was joy and relief and hope in that moment. 

"You should go back to sleep," Arthur said. 

"I will. I...can you stay? Just for a little bit?"

"Of course."

"Good."

Merlin closed his eyes. Then he opened them again.

"Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

Arthur had known that of course, but it felt wonderful to actually hear Merlin say it. He knew that he didn't deserve Merlin, not really, but he hoped to be worthy of him. Arthur was not very good with feelings and emotions, but he loved Merlin deeply and he promised himself that he would make sure that Merlin knew how much.

...

The days passed quickly after that. Merlin got a bit better with each passing day. After about a week of this, Gaius decided that Merlin could get up and walk around a bit and that he could go back to his room. Arthur, however, was thoroughly opposed to the idea of Merlin going back to that tiny little room. 

"You're moving into my chambers, Merlin and that's that," he declared. 

"But Arthur, how is that going to look?"

"I'm not moving you into my bed. Well, I am, but no one has to know that. I'll tell everyone that you're moving into the ante-chamber that is meant for my servant and no one will care. Besides you are the only servant who's ever allowed into my rooms, so there's no way anyone will find out."

"You've really thought about this, haven't you?" Merlin said, looking surprised and pleased. 

"I have. I've thought about a lot of things in the last few days. All of them concern you. I'm going to start training you to use a sword properly, just as I would train any of my knights. And I'm going to put you in chain mail every time we go on patrol or we go out to face an enemy."

"Your father won't like that."

"He'll have to get used to it. He knows that I can be very stubborn when it comes to you. I am not ever risking something like this again."

Merlin looked thoughtfully at him. "I thought you were going to lecture me for doing something so reckless and dangerous and insist that I stay home from here on."

"Believe me, I want to. But I know you won't listen to me, so I'm going to try and lessen the danger as much as I can. And I'm going to stop going on obviously futile excursions just to please my father. You've been trying to convince me of this for years and I haven't listened."

Merlin was so glad to hear that. "I love you," he said, feeling a bit awe struck that he was allowed to say that now.

He was happy, he really was. But it was not unmarred by worry. It couldn't be, because Arthur still didn't know about his magic. He didn't want to start a relationship with Arthur without sharing the truth about himself and that was a scary prospect, however he looked at it.

He wasn't afraid for his life. He knew Arthur wouldn't betray him. But he would be angry and he might feel like Merlin had played him for a fool. This whole thing might be over even before it began. Merlin's heart twisted painfully at that thought. But he had no choice. He couldn't go on deceiving Arthur, not now. 


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur looked at Merlin where he lay ensconced in the sheets on Arthur's bed and he felt a deep sense of satisfaction. Merlin was finally where he belonged. At Arthur's side. His to love and his to care for.

He'd spent the last couple of hours moving Merlin into his chambers. He'd packed Merlin's clothes and his books, shocked at how few there were of the clothes, feeling guilty at never having noticed. Really, how self absorbed was he? 

He resolved to have a word with Gwen and get her to speak to the seamstress. He would get a few sets of clothes made for Merlin, maybe a thick winter coat and a cloak as well. After he'd packed up Merlin's things, he'd come back to his chambers and got a couple of servants to move a bed into the ante-chamber. That bed would never be used, but it helped keep up appearances. 

He would've preferred to carry Merlin to his chambers, but Merlin had flatly refused to let him do that. So Arthur had to content himself with supporting him as he made his way across the castle. Merlin had no difficulty walking, but he was still recovering, so he tended to get breathless and to tire easily. 

When they made it inside Arthur's chambers, the prince locked the door, picked Merlin up and kissed him when he protested. Then he carried him over to the bed and sat him down. He took off Merlin's shoes and he made him lie down. 

Merlin shook his head and smiled fondly up at him. Arthur insisted that Merlin take a nap. Then he proceeded to unpack and put away Merlin's clothes and his books. He was surprised to find just how satisfying it was to do these little things for Merlin and to take care of him in a small way.

Once he was done with this, Arthur sat down to read a few reports that he needed to study for the council meeting the next day. The room was quiet, but there was a feeling of contentment about, like everything was finally right where it was supposed to be. 

A couple of quiet hours later, there was a knock on the door. It was a kitchen maid who'd brought dinner. Arthur opened the door and took the tray from her. Then he shut the door and brought the tray to the table. He was setting out the plates when Merlin woke up. 

They had dinner and they talked and it was all very normal, but Arthur could see that there was something on Merlin's mind. So he asked him about it. Merlin paled at the question, then he shook himself and took a deep breath, like he was trying to gather his courage. 

"I...I have to tell you something," he began. "I didn't tell you before because it never seemed like the right time. I've hated keeping this from you, but I didn't have a choice, not in the beginning and then..." Merlin broke off, sounding frustrated. "Arthur...I'm a sorcerer. I have magic."

Arthur couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Merlin was a sorcerer? For a second, he wondered if it was all a joke. But he knew that Merlin would never joke about something like this. It was...hard to believe. 

He glanced at Merlin and took in the miserable look on his face. And he knew that however improbable it might seem, Merlin was telling the truth. He was a sorcerer. 

Why hadn't he told Arthur until now? Did he not trust his prince? Did he not know that Arthur would never betray him or let him come to harm?

He looked up to see the uncertainty on Merlin's face, the worry.

"I've only ever used my magic for you, Arthur, to help you. I never meant to deceive you," he said.

Arthur sighed. Then he took Merlin's hand in his. Merlin looked up at him. There was so much vulnerability in that look, all his love, all his fear, laid bare. Arthur kissed Merlin's hand and rested it against his cheek. 

"I'm not angry," he said. "I'm just trying to make sense of it. I understand why you didn't tell me in the beginning, but it's been three years, Merlin. Surely I'd earned your trust well before this moment."

"It wasn't because I didn't trust you. I know you'd never betray me."

"Then why?"

"I didn't want to put you in a position where you would have to lie to your father to protect me. You have so much on your shoulders already. I couldn't add yet another burden to that."

"So you chose to carry the burden of this secret yourself."

"I did. And it was horrible. I hate lying to you. I particularly hated it when we were faced with a magical threat and I couldn't just tell you to let me take care of it. Because I can. I had to sneak around and find a way to use my magic when you were distracted. And often you ended up injured because I had to let you fight. I tried so hard, but sometimes I just wasn't quick enough. Like that time we had to deal with the Questing beast..." Merlin's eyes filled with tears at the memory. 

Arthur squeezed his hand. "That was awful," he agreed, "but now I get the sense that there's a lot more to that story than I realised."

Merlin nodded. But he wasn't about to tell Arthur about Nimueh just yet. This was not exactly the best time for Arthur to hear that Merlin had tried to bargain with her, offering up his life in exchange for Arthur's. So he changed the subject. 

"But it wasn't just about you having to lie to your father. I was afraid that if I told you about my magic, you would send me away...to keep me safe and I couldn't bear the thought of not being here, not being with you. Without you, what is even my life? Loving you, taking care of you and protecting you, this is what I do. This is what I am."

What was Arthur supposed to say to that? That was a declaration of love so pure and true, so utterly honest and so...Merlin. 

He sighed. "You're right. I would've made you leave Camelot."

Then he smiled, a wry smile. "Honestly though, I wouldn't have been able to stay here without you. I would've ended up following you."

"Really?"

"Don't look so surprised. I followed you to Ealdor, didn't I? Despite my father telling me not to."

"You did," Merlin said. He tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt. He still looked worried. 

"Stop worrying. I know you didn't mean to decieve me. You're one of the most honest people I know. And I know you would only ever use your magic for good. I trust you." 

"Thank you," Merlin whispered. "It means a lot to hear you say that. That's what I was most afraid of. I was afraid that when I told you the truth about my magic I would lose your trust." 

"That is never going to happen. You've earned my trust and my loyalty many times over."

Merlin looked relieved to hear that. 

"What you don't seem to understand," Arthur continued, "is that without you, my life is a whole lot of nothing. You ground me and you give my life meaning and direction. Until I met you, I was floundering. I didn't know who I was. All I knew was that I wasn't good enough. I tried and tried, but I could never meet my father's expectations. I was so unsure of myself."

"Arthur..." Merlin said. He got up from his chair and sat on Arthur's lap, just so he could hug him properly. Arthur had to chuckle. He wrapped his arms around his love and rested his chin on his shoulder. 

"You see...this is what I mean. This is what you do for me. You give me so much love, you make me feel like I'm worthy and that I'm capable of being good and doing great things. You make me believe in myself. So a small thing like you having magic is not going to change the way I feel about you."

Merlin looked up at that. "You're really not angry?"

"No. I'm a little disappointed...in myself. I can't believe I didn't notice. You must have used magic around me hundreds of times. I'd always wondered how Lancelot killed the Griffin and how the Questing beast was felled and how I, supposedly, killed a dragon when none of these creatures could be killed by a mortal weapon. All of that was you, wasn't it?"

Merlin nodded. 

"And that's just three instances. We've been in trouble so many times in the last three years and we always had a bit of luck, something unexpected that helped us get out of a tight spot. Braches breaking off a tree, the roof caving in, a fire that started from nowhere. All of that was you. And you had to do it in secret, even in the middle of a battle. And I made fun of you when you said you'd stand next to me and help me fight off Cenred's army. I feel like such an idiot!"

"You didn't know and that's my fault. I should've told you."

"Yes, you should have. But it's okay. I know now. And I'm glad you felt like you had to tell me this before we properly become a couple."

Merlin put his hands on Arthur's face and gazed at him. It was an intense, heartfelt and utterly loving look. 

"Thank you," he said softly. 

"What for?"

"For being you. For loving me. For being so accepting of this."

Arthur had to smile. Apparently there was no limit to how sweet Merlin could be. 

"It's really okay. But I'm not done talking about this. I have so many questions. So much that you were apparently doing in the background that I was unaware of."

"I'll tell you everything. I want to."

"Good. But not now. I think you've exerted yourself enough for one day. My questions can wait."

There was nothing much to say after that. Nothing that they needed words for, anyway. Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's waist while Merlin put his hands around Arthur's neck and snuggled into him. For three years they had been at each other's side, facing down so many threats and challenges, saving each others lives and almost dying for each other over and over again. 

Through all that they had been close, but now, finally, all the barriers were down, all the pretense was gone and they were just Arthur and Merlin. They both recognised the importance of this moment, so they chose not to sully it with words. And they went to bed that night, with their arms about each other, more sure of themselves and of each other than they had ever been. 


	6. Chapter 6

It was the evening of the next day. Arthur walked away from the training field, eager to go back to his chambers and to see Merlin again. He'd been busy all day and he hadn't been able to get any time with Merlin, except for a few minutes at lunch.

Arthur had spent a lot of time thinking about Merlin and his magic that day. He'd been raised to believe that all magic users were evil. But he'd always found that hard to accept. That was like saying that all nobles were brave or that every poor man was a potential thief. People were who they were, most people were good and some were bad and that had to apply to magic-users as well. Just the fact that someone had magic couldn't make them evil. 

He'd believed this for a long time. And now he knew that Merlin had magic. But he was still Merlin. Still the same beautiful, big hearted, brave and adorable soul that Arthur had fallen in love with. The magic didn't change anything for him, it didn't make him see Merlin differently or trust him less.

If anything, it made him feel a bit more comfortable about constantly exposing Merlin to danger. But he knew how badly things could go if anyone else found out. So they would have to be cautious. He would have to make sure that no one found out. At least not until he was the king. 

But in the meantime, he wanted to know more. He wanted to know everything that Merlin had done for him. He suspected that Merlin had some truly impressive tales to tell. He wanted to see Merlin's magic and he wanted to get to know the sorcerer as well as he'd got to know the man. 

Arthur walked into his chambers and found Merlin sitting on the bed, reading. Merlin smiled and then he put his book aside and got up. Arthur glanced around the room and noticed how clean everything was. 

"Did you get someone in here to clean this place?" He asked as Merlin came up to him. 

"No. I did it myself."

"I thought I told you to rest."

"I did rest. I sat on the bed, reading, while everything cleaned itself," Merlin said calmly, like this was the most ordinary thing in the world. 

And to him, perhaps, it was. But it was a big deal to Arthur who was only just getting used to the idea that Merlin had magic. He didn't get a chance to comment on it, though. Merlin had put his arms around Arthur and leaned in for a kiss.

Arthur drew Merlin close to him and licked and nibbled on his lips while Merlin let out a breathy little moan that made him wonder just what Merlin would sound like when Arthur finally got him naked and pressed him into the mattress and got intimately acquainted with every inch of skin, every dip, every bone, every muscle...

The way Merlin was pressing into him, suggested that he was ready to strip and get into bed that minute, but Arthur wasn't going to let things go that far tonight. Merlin was still recovering from what had been a very serious injury and the last thing Arthur wanted was for their first time together to be overshadowed by worry as it would be, for him, if they rushed into something tonight. So he eased out of the kiss.

"Not just yet, alright," he said softly. 

Merlin pouted.

"Just another couple of days, Merlin."

"Fine," Merlin said, grudgingly. "Let me help you with your armour."

"I can do that myself..."

"You're not taking this away from me, not any more," Merlin said. "I like doing this for you, getting each piece of your armour off and setting it aside carefully. And undressing you before you get in the bath. It's a ritual. It helps you relax and it was the only time I got to be close to you...before. It was nice to have the freedom to touch, if only briefly."

"Merlin..." Arthur groaned. "How can you possibly be this adorable?"

Merlin laughed. 

He got Arthur's armour and chain mail off him and he helped Arthur off with his shoes. Then he took Arthur's hand and led him to the bath. He glanced at the water and got it to the perfect temperature...with just a look. It was such a casual use of magic and he was using it to do a small thing, but it was impressive, nonetheless, because it made it obvious how deeply magic was woven into Merlin's being. It was a part of who he was.

Merlin undid the laces of Arthur's tunic and took it off him. He stared at Arthur, his gaze going from Arthur's eyes to his nose, down to his lips, lingering there for a moment and then moving down to his jaw and his neck. Then he reached out and ran his hands down Arthur's chest, fingers feathering over his nipples, making Arthur gasp and shiver. Then he ran a hand lightly down Arthur's stomach...

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" Merlin said, his voice rough with want as he looked up at his prince. 

Arthur couldn't resist the look in Merlin's eyes, not any more. He put his hands around his love and pressed him close to his chest. He ran his nose up the side of Merlin's neck, glad that he wasn't wearing his neckerchief. He kissed him along the line of his neck and up his jaw until he found Merlin's lips again. Merlin ran his hands up and down Arthur's back, gripping him possesively as he kissed into Arthur's mouth. 

Arthur pulled away after a minute and he yanked Merlin's tunic off. He stared at that pale expanse of skin and the delicate and beautiful lines of Merlin's body and his breath hitched. He ached with the desire to touch and to kiss and possess. But the sight of the still healing scar on Merlin's chest stopped him. 

"Arthur please," Merlin said, sounding a bit desperate. 

Arthur nodded and reached for his breeches. Merlin responded with a quick, delighted smile. They scrambled to get undressed and then they came together again, pressing their bodies close, kissing and touching with all the desire that had been held in check for too long. It was glorious, intense and so wonderful. Arthur had never experienced anything like this and neither had Merlin, apparently, this rush of feeling, this deep sense of rightness. It didn't take either of them long to finish.

They leaned against each other, panting, trying to catch their breath. Arthur shifted, so that Merlin was leaning entirely on him. 

"Are you alright?" He whispered. 

"Better than," Merlin said. 

Arthur reached for one of the towels that Merlin had laid out and cleaned them both off. Then he got into the tub and held out his hand for Merlin, who got in after him. Arthur settled Merlin so he was sitting between his legs and leaning against his chest. Merlin turned his head and kissed Arthur softly. Arthur kissed back, feeling a bone deep sense of satisfaction. 

They got around to bathing eventually and then they got out of the tub and got dressed. Merlin led Arthur to the table where their dinner was waiting. Arthur was about to serve the food when Merlin stopped him. He glanced at the stew and it went from cold to steaming hot. 

"I could get used to this," Arthur said. 

They sat down to eat and they talked about all the little things that they'd each seen and done that day, like any other couple, really. It was nice, it was normal and it was somethng that Arthur had craved for years now, to have someone in his life who loved him and who he loved, someone who didn't care that he was a prince and only saw Arthur the man. For quite a while now that someone that he wanted had been Merlin, but he'd denied himself and Merlin for far too long, glad now, that he had finally come to his senses. 

He waited until they were in bed to ask some of the questions that he'd been meaning to ask since the previous day. Merlin had clearly been waiting for them. He was lying on his back, while Arthur lay on his side, resting his head on his hand, looking intently at Merlin. 

"Let me start at the beginning," Merlin said and then he told him about his first day in Camelot, watching that sorcerer be killed and using magic to save Gaius from falling after Merlin had startled him. Then he told Arthur about the dragon and what he'd said about their destiny. 

That got Arthur's attention. "Two halves of a whole are we? So the dragon told you in the first week of your being in Camelot that you and I are soulmates and you never thought to mention this?"

"What would I have said? To you, I was nothing more than a servant. How exactly would you have reacted if I'd told you that I am your soul mate?"

"Not well, perhaps," Arthur said with a sigh. "But I would've known in my gut that you were telling the truth. Because I felt it, you know, the first time I saw you. That feeling of connection and an instinctive awareness that I should keep you close to me."

"I felt it too, all the way down to my bones. Though that didn't stop me from arguing loud and long with the dragon." Merlin found himself smiling at the memory as he recounted his conversation with the dragon. Arthur was laughing by the end of it. 

Then they talked about that time that Nimueh had tried to poison Merlin and Arthur had gone to fetch the Morteous flower. "So that light in the cave was you, guiding me," Arthur said. "I'd always wondered."

He thought for a minute. 

"You were poisoned and unconsious, barely holding on to life and yet somehow, you were able to use your magic to guide me through that cave...how powerful are you exactly?"

Merlin shifted a bit uncomfortably. "Are you sure you want to know?" He said.

"Yes I am."

"I'm the one the druids call Emrys," he said softly.

Arthur's mouth fell open. He'd heard the legends, of course. "Immortal and the most powerful wizard the world has ever seen?"

"Basically," Merlin said with a shrug. 

"And you've spent the last three years washing my clothes, cleaning my room, polishing my armour, picking up after me and letting me make fun of you. Why would you do that? Why are you even in Camelot?"

"To be fair, you stopped making fun of me after the first few months."

"I was such a brat! I feel like I should put myself in the stocks for some of the things I said to you..."

Merlin laughed. "I would never let you do that."

"But why? Explain this to me, please. Why would you let everyone, including me, believe that you're nothing more than a servant? You could go anywhere else and you would be welcomed and treated with respect and dignity. You wouldn't have to hide...Why would you choose this? Why would you choose me?"

Merlin put his hand on Arthur’s face and caressed him. It was the softest of touches, but it was laden with affection.

"I have all this power and I had no idea what to use it for. I wanted it to be a force for good, I wanted to use it to make the world a better place. But given the home I grew up in, I wasn't in any position to make that kind of difference, by myself. Not unless I chose to conquer a kingdom or two and set myself up as king. But I have no interest in conquest or kingship."

"I came to Camelot because I wanted to meet Gaius. I hoped that he would have some advice for me, that he would give me a bit of direction. And then I met you. You were a brat. But there's an inherent nobility in you that I saw even then. You could've had your guards take me away and lock me up after you'd beaten me, but you didn't. You commended my courage and told the guards to leave me be."

"And then I met the dragon who told me that prat though you were, you would be a great king one day. And that it was my job to get you there. That felt like a worthy goal, particularly once I got to know you and saw who you really are. You're not like your father at all. You're your own man and you have a keen sense of fairness and justice. You care about your people. You're a truly good person and you will make a great king one day. I want to be at your side and I want to help you make it happen."

"Do you really believe that?" Arthur said.

"With all my heart."

Merlin said it with such conviction. Arthur found that he had tears in his eyes. He put his arms around Merlin and buried his face on the side of his neck. Merlin put one hand around him and ran his other hand gently, through Arthur's hair.

"I'm going to try, Merlin, I really am. I know I don't deserve you. You should be doing bigger and better things with your life than standing at my side, but promise you'll stay? I love you so much and I need you. Just the way you look at me, your eyes, brimming over with affection and conviction...you make me feel better and stronger than I am. I've just had a few days of wondering if I'd ever see you alive again and it hurt so much. I don't ever want to go through that again."

"You won't have to, I promise. I love you, Arthur, so very much. You make me happy, you make me proud, you give my life a purpose. And you're so ridiculously beautiful, it makes my heart hurt just to look at you."

Arthur was just about ready to cry now. He tightened his grip on Merlin who pulled him as close as he could. Arthur couldn't say anything, but Merlin understood anyway. 

"I'm grateful to have you in my life too, you know. Though gratitude is perhaps not the right emotion. We belong to each other, Arthur and we always will. It doesn't matter that you're a prince or that I am Emrys. We're just us."

...

Finis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels right to end this story here. But I love this version of Arthur and Merlin, so I might write a sequel one day. 
> 
> I can't help thinking that the two of them could have done so much and been so much more if Arthur knew about Merlin's magic and they could factor it into their plans and and use it as a force for good.


End file.
